life and death

i have seen a lot of deaths in my life so when i see anymore i dont get totally emotional like i feel for them and i do have emotion for it but unless im really really close to them them im not going to cry and just loose my self.  like this weekend i lost a good friend to me that i really did care about but i just couldnt show any emotion i didnt know what was wrong with me cuz i had all my friends crying but i just couldnt.  cuz i usually do cry cuz i balled like a baby when i lost my grandpa and my best friend when i was 7 and then i cried when i lost my good friend when i was like 11. but i have learned that im going to live life to the fullest i can and to do all the stuff i want to accomplish cuz i love life and i love to be alive and am greatful to be alive so just live life to your full potential and dont leave anything behind thank you for living.